That day, when I looked at myself in the mirror, I saw perfection, a healthy human being standing on his feet, working his brain, more alive than ever. I decided that my dream wasn’t mine anymore, but all those young boys’ too.
“Perfection: the condition, state, or quality of being free or as free as possible from all flaws or defects”. That’s the definition of this legendary word that you would read first on internet. “as free as possible from all flaws or defects”
To me perfection is a celebration of conformism and a rejection of differences.
Life isn’t perfect, so certainly aren’t people, that I know for sure. You can try as hard as you want, you will never ever be perfect, and be grateful for that because I wouldn’t wish that to anyone. How boring would it be. Could you imagine yourself looking like everyone else, lost in the crowd, stopping you from being you? A surprise-less world filled with clones is personally very frightening to me.
One of my favourite quote from Oscar Wild is: “be yourself, everyone else is already taken”
Life is beautiful because of all its perfect imperfections. The sea leaves its treasures on the beach each and every day, each wave is unique thanks to the wind blowing irregularly, each leaf is different on every branch, no place on Earth looks like another, for us to discover something new, each and every time. Every tree, every ocean is shaped in a different and unique way to fill the planet with wonder. And so are we, human beings, perfectly imperfect, beautifully different and unique. All complementary, all growing up with a head full of dreams in our perfectly imperfect little head.
Instead of trying our best to have the same shape or size or life based on our neighbour’s profile picture, instead of body shaming anyone or feeling body shamed, instead of rejecting one another because of a different skin colour, religion, sexuality or gender, I’d love for us to accept and celebrate our differences, because at the end of the day we all have one thing in common: a heart pumping red blood that carries imperfect cells in constant change.
Cells are dying and being replaced all the time, which means that physiologically speaking, a being is in constant change. Therefore I am not the same person I was a few years ago and different than I’ll be in the future… And more than our cells, our life experiences make us all unique.
My dad passed away twelve years ago, but it nearly took two years for him to walk through his final door as his stroke caused a brain death. It’s actually worse than death itself because the mind jumps on the other side while the body remains among the living. If Life was perfect without any flaw or defect, my dad would not have gone at 50 years old. And certainly not all the even younger people that I encounter in the living-dead center. That old saying “life is short” is perfectly true. One patient, in his 20s, was brain dead after a fight outside of a night club where alcohol was ruling the party, while another one, in his 30s, received a metallic pole on the head that fell from the ceiling at work, on a construction site. But there’s someone that I will never forget, even if I don’t know her name and never will. That day, my mum wanted to be alone with my dad, and as I was waiting in the hall, a woman sat next to me, gave me a beautiful smile and told me how much I looked like her son, a young boy around my age at the time, same height, same figure, dreaming to be a professional basketball player as I was dreaming to be an actor, but closer to my dad as he was in a vegetative state after a car accident. That day, when I looked at myself in the mirror, I saw a healthy human being standing on his feet, working his brain, more alive than ever. I decided that my dream wasn’t mine anymore, but all those young boys’ too. Medicine says that movements from a patient in a vegetative state are just nerves reactions but I promise you that spiritually speaking, something is alive in their eyes. It can be as terrifying as feeling them trapped in their own body, but sometimes you can also witness a fight to get better and live Life to its fullest, a fight already lost…
As imperfect as life can be, you cannot savour the sweetness of honey if you have never tasted the bitterness of vinegar. That’s what I learned through that experience that made me the person I am today, with all my flaws and defects, with all my scars, savouring more than ever all my qualities.
Shortly after that day I hired a personal trainer at the gym to get in shape, and most of all, keep being healthy by maintaining my functional heart and brain, I will always remember my coach’s reaction when she asked me about an actor I’d like to look like – most commonly the first private session starts with a diagnostic to establish what is it you’re looking for and what you would like to work on. To her question, and her surprise, I answered with my own name.
All I want is to feel good in my body and be healthy. And sure it’s human to want to feel attractive, but I want to look like me. I am attractive in my own way, full of defects but also full of qualities. What you see in Hollywood blockbusters is as real as porn is to sexuality.
The human body comes in all sorts of shapes, in a world with all sorts of taste. And so is the mind. Personally, when I lay my eyes on someone gorgeous to my visual taste, it usually turns out that the personality doesn’t follow…and just like magic, this person physically changes before my eyes, they become less attractive the meaner they are.
And vice versa: how many times did I fall in love with someone I would not have turned my head towards on the streets, yet that person physically became to me the most beautiful person in my world thanks to their charming way of being. Isn’t it a proof that it’s all happening in our mind? No one can physically change in just a few days or a few hours, just like magic. The mind reshapes our reality.
So before trying to please anyone you have to please yourself first.
I know how this may sound like to you right now, but I’m not inviting you to inflate your ego with arrogance and narcissism, all I know is that you cannot give anything to anyone out of an empty cup… if you have never tried it before, self love (and not self absorbed) is very trendy on planet Heart.
If you look for perfection, forget about perfection, embrace your “flaws and defects” and share it to the world. Own it, enhance it, share the true you without filters and artful poses.
We are not individuals in glass globes, sitting on a shelf waiting to be admired. Our differences are made to make us work together, never against each other.
More by Pierre Garau